I was buzzing down I-95 on Sat. afternoon, on my way to see the rental agent on Capitol Hill and three more properties. It was a hot muggy day. The A/C was blasting as were the tunes. I was tapping along on the steering wheel to the rhythms of Supergrass when a beat was introduced into the song that I knew didn’t belong there, a strange, out-of-sync knocking that came down in complete defiance of the music, causing me to tilt my head sideways, reach for my MP3 player, then for the volume on the stereo.

I muted the stereo. The knocking continued. …………

(Oh … damn. Shit! F*&ing hell, no, please NOOOO … !!!)

Yes. There was nowhere to hide from the sound … the unmistakeable knock of death …. the reaper, the blown piston. I pulled the car over two lanes to the right, cutting off two pissed-off drivers, flipped on the hazards and crept onto the shoulder. Got out of the car. Picked up my cell. Zero bars. Fan-fucking-tastic. Squeezed out a call, amidst much traffic noise and with one finger firmly jammed up the other ear, to my dad, who then looked up the tow truck, who brought me and the cadaver to a service station to hear the bad news from the mechanic.

Tomorrow I go back to said station to sell what’s left of my Corolla to a scrapyard. Ugh. Bad times.

But wait! What’s that in the rearview mirror?

Picking me up from the service station was the mysterious "first date." (To be named later … a jinx thing). The one I had established rapport with the previous couple of weeks, and because of that rapport, I was comfortable enough to ask her to pick me up and bring me home at that particular low point. Which she not only did, smiling, but also hung around my place while I showered and then drove us up to Baltimore for dinner and a movie before depositing me on my doorstep with a hug.

Good times.

My dad came down yesterday morning, we met with Mel, my realtor, and then we drove back to Jersey to pick up their Toyota Echo, which I’m borrowing, and today I drove the Echo back down so I’m not stranded. Now, in addition to selling in Columbia and renting in D.C., I’ve got to figure out whatset of wheels, automotive, Vespa, bike, tricycle, unicycle, whatever — I’m going to be riding on in the near future. But it is a bright future, perhaps no longer baby blue, but bright.

Random bloopers and outtakes:

1. As I waited for the tow truck to arrive, I picked fresh blackberries on the side of I-95. Huge suckers too. Gave the driver a purple handshake.

2. A Maryland state police officer showed up at the scene just as the tow truck was pulling up. He said he saw me using my Sidekick when he passed around the first time, thought it was a camera, and that I was taking pictures … ? The tow truck guy heard this and hatched up some insane "he must have thought you were a terrorist!" conspiracy thread on the way to the service station. I just nodded along.

LESTER: You’re hired! Any questions?

CRAIG: Just one. Why is this floor so short?

LESTER: Low overhead, m’boy! We pass the savings on to you! But seriously, that’s all covered in orientation.
– "Being John Malkovich"

Began my apartment search in earnest on Capitol Hill today (he says, half-concentrating as John Cusack gets channeled into Malkovich’s breakfast routine) — walked into some of those English basements and thought I was on floor 7 1/2 –rat city folks (Cusack just got dumped onto the Jersey Turnpike) I shouldn’t be able to palm the ceiling when I stretch my arms. It’s just wrong.

But not all the places were that bad. Two were definite keepers, in fact (there goes Cameron Diaz … Malkovich is takiing a shower… Cameron gets dumped on the Turnpike). Nice big kitchens, separated from the living room by a small ledge, open and spacious, nice size bedroom, a little space out back. And HIGH CEILINGS. A must! I realize that I’m seriously claustrophobic, spoiled by the Arizona skies … I can’t live in a rat cubbyhole in Washington and be happy. So that’s something.

OK, time to shamelessly promote another photo … this one is from last year’s Pandamania set, it originates from an exhibit in DC two years ago, called "Party Animals" (the precursor to the Pandamania DC and Crabtown Baltimore exhibits).

Things are heating up here in the sweltering DC area. Many life changes are happening to one praxis88. Where to start. Well ….

1) After much deliberating, I have decided to SELL my condo in Columbia and move to Washington to be closer to work. Bidding a fond farewell to my condo, and Columbia, both of to which I have become quite attached, unfortunately the distance between the homestead and the workplace is fraught with peril to say the least, a chaotic, post-modern nightmare of a commute that has worn me down to my last nerve in a year and a half. Sooooo … I have taken the plunge, contacted my realtor Mel who was veddy veddy happy to see me and can get me a veddy veddy good price on the place, so good in fact that when he waved the number in front of me I nearly swallowed my tongue — holy s*%t. Can anyone say "sayonara home equity loan"? So good in fact that I ignored the strange watch-battery looking gold inserts in his two front teeth, which I can’t figure out if they serve a cosmetic, or dental, need? (I think they may be SETI transmitters).

Anyway … I am also looking at rental units near the LOC, expensive, yes, but manageable, and at this stage of the game, just plain necessary.

2) I am moving into a new job detail at work. I don’t have much to say about this or anything else having to do with work — not here anyway. I think it’s a good move however, that much I can say.

3) I am giving up my beloved Sidekick. It’s been my friend for the last year, unfortunately the same cannot be said about T-Mobile. They need to stop paying Mrs. Zeta-Jones-Douglas and start putting up towers. Going back to Verizon and possibly the Treo 650.

4) I’ve been asked by Carl and Carolyn to be the godfather of Oskar, their son. I am deeply humbled by this offer. Will most likely be going to Wisconsin in late August for the baptism.

5) I am stepping into the online dating world. More on that real soon, I promise.

That’s about it for now. Glad to get that straight, in my own head at the very least …

Ciao!