This was gonna be a comment on Cranky’s blog, but it got a bit it long. I gotsta get something off my chest. Mah name is Rick. And I’m a warrior-holic.

See, I never intended for this to happen. All I wanted was to sit down and watch the White Sox and Astros in the World Series. But then Fox started playing those promos … and here it is, five months and one rerun later, and I realize that not only do I have a full-blown addiction (see photo), but that I’ve been pushing it on my family and friends. And ahmm soo sorry boohooo hooo ….

But I have a plan, my fellow warriors, a one-step program to get us cold turkey off the warrior junk once and for all.

Here it is. if my three years in the federal system has taught me anything, it’s this — the best way to suck the life out of a joke or anything else is to. analyze. it. to.. death …

So here comes the funeral dirge, in the form of sociological analysis. Just like in college. We’ll break this down into three main points.

a) There are Christians and there are Christian fundamentalists. My brother and I were talking about this. Neither of us are Christian but we definitely had a soft place for all those well-meaning, well-doing “true” Christians and ministers who may have caught a glimpse of that show. I think Marguerite and friends (and indirectly, Trading Spouses’ casting dept.) may have set back Christianity more in two hours than Marilyn Manson has managed to do over the course of his whole career. Though I think it will survive :-) So yeah Cranky I feel ya — G.W. (uhh that’s godwarrior, Freudian slip) is a horrible gauge to judge Christians. No question.

b) not all fundies are Christians or Muslims or Jews or even religious at all. Let’s face it. There are psychos, nutjobs and zealots of all stripes running around all over America and the world (but mainly in D.C., cough). Many of them are the media itself — that’s why bloggers will never run out of things to talk about. (actually many of them blog too, heheh. Rock on psychos)

c) There are fundies, there are Christian fundies — and then there’s the Warrior.

Case in point: the blonde grilling Jeanne about does she believe in God or a “higher power” (complete with finger quotes) — disturbing, and if you’re Cranky, infuriating, but certainly NOT funny. MAYBE worth a mention on “Fundies say the Darndest Things.”

The Warrior wth eyes bulging out of her sockets, flabby arms flailing, tits falling out of her mumu dress, gap-toothed mouth ajar and yowling like she’s auditioning for some New York screamcore band-uhhhhh — FUNNY. And disturbing. And a million more adjectives … and you don’t even get the opportunity to feel infuriated or self-righteous at first, not when you’re on the ground laughing, running for your life or staring at the TV like an Asian cameragirl in headlights. Only upon further reflection do you scratch your head and say “how am I supposed to feel again?” Five months later and I still don’t know.

And thus concludes this attempt at exorcism, by way of paralysis by analysis. But somehow my hands keep trembling and I just want another fix…

Five months into my stint in the deluxe apartment in the sky, and I’ve already inherited the entire glossy output of the entire retail industry, thanks to the previous tenant. Nordstroms. Pottery Barn. Nike. Title Nine. Bloody fucking AVON. Even Victoria’s Secret (don’t mind that so much — it goes in a separate pile with the SI swimsuit issue :-). Curse you to hell miss ____ (name removed to protect the guilty).

I think I may be suffering from writer’s block — or blogger’s block as the case may be. Part of it may have to do with the weather. Yesterday and today we got our first big snowstorm, but even prior to that it has been pretty overcast, though with notable exceptions and with very little precipitation. I think there’s a bt of overcast in my mind too, which is due to … I’m not sure… I think work is kicking my ass a bit … I just moved into a new area so I’m having to relearn my job slightly, plus the added burden of politics, committees that take on their own lives, often leaving me to alternate from macro-big-picture to micro-excruciating-detail thought patterns (often in the course of a single day).  It leaves me coming home with my brain in a knot. And the ambient drone CDs I listen to help me "unwind" may actually be making me depressed …. sooooo …. my mind seems to be home to inordinate amounts of static lately. A mental wintry mix with a cold front passing through, according to my inner meteorologist.

But there have been some bright spots, discoveries, new reasons for being glad to be alive and living in D.C. I have found not one but two great italian delis, one of them on Cap. Hill itself, so this is cause for jubilation (and a G-Man sub). Also, Ness and I have settled into one the local bars here, RFD (like our Ernie’s, for the Houstonians) and our little drinking sessions can be therapeutic after a hard day’s work. Today I found the newly-opened Pearl (the word itself describes how I feel about it) art supply shop in Virginia (I used to drive into NYC when I was in high school just to hit Pearl … well that and the noodle shops in Chinatown :-). Finally, I’ve just woken up to the plethora of great live music here, partly thanks to having a fellow music freak in tow. The 9:30 Club itself usually has at least two shows a month worth checking out — add in Black Cat, Birchmere, Iota, even Jaxx (Roxx!) and countless others … yeah, life’s not so bad. Just get beyond the rough patches and enjoy life’s sunnier moments. And if that doesn’t untangle the knot just head to Jaxx and bang your skullet till you drop.