Cabritos and chocolate
There was no goat. Whether it was chupacabra that got him, or that the five residents of Falmouth (not pronounced “fal-mÉ™th” like in Cape Cod, but “foul-mouth”, according to a local convenience store clerk) just decided to get drunk instead (or just got hungry), the thing I’d driven over an hour to see — the ceremonial dropping of a stuffed goat at midnight — was not there. Furthermore, there was no hint of a party, nor people to even ask where the party might be?! Up and down the one wretched street in Foul-mouth five times and checked my watch. It was 11:30. The rest as it happened.
11:31 — My goat dreams crushed and in the middle of nowhere, I got depressed. A sign said “Elizabethtown, 4 miles” and I think, maybe, I read somewhere that someone might drop or raise something interesting and unique in E-town (an M&M? Or maybe Kirsten Dunst?). I drove the four mile stretch to check out the scene.
11:36 — pulled into E-town — the place was dead. (turns out these folks do raise their M&M, but early … 7PM, wtf? I wonder if the goat was dropped early too?)
11:38 — really depressed now. Humming “nothing ever happens in … ” , I drove up and down the deserted streets of E looking for some kind of party that I could drop in on. Something. Anything?!
11:42 — On the outskirts of town, I saw the sign that would change my night. Dreams of a giant silver foil package with a little white paper tail danced in my head. Checked the map and my watch. Eight miles. Eighteen minutes. A 35 MPH back road to Hershey. This is gonna be close. Could I make it?
11:43 — Peace out E-town! And enough techno music. I threw in the White Stripes and hit the accelerator. I’m gonna go get me a Kiss. (sadly — or perhaps fortunately? — I had no KISS to jam out to)
11:51 — entered Hershey.
11:53 — Stopped at a Turkey Hill somewhere in Hershey. Two attendants were standing outside smoking cigs. I asked them “where’s the party?” A woman running in the store laughed in a “yeah, right, you’ll make it” tone. One attendant said “Son, that’s the other side of town! But here’s the quick way around — take a left, then a right, pass Cocoa Ave., hang a right on Chocolate Ave.” [looks at watch] … “an’ you’d better hurry up!”
11:57 — The police had a roadblock detour set up shortly after Cocoa Ave. Whatever. Swerved through a bank parking lot and down some side streets to get on Chocolate.
11:59 — Parked with a screech. Jumped out of my car and headed toward the main square. As I ran, I pulled my camera out of my pocket, switched it to video mode and hit ‘record’. You can see the rest here. Or maybe you can’t, the vid quality isn’t the best — in any case, at the strike of …
12:00 — Hershey raised its candy into the air, and shot off some fireworks — and I made it in the lick of time. Def Leppard played over the loudspeakers as I claimed my complimentary candy bar. Hit the bar for a libation or two, made a few calls, then hopped back in my car, satisfied.
Happy New Year.
p.s. — as I drove the long drive on 896 through Amish country back to Delaware, I passed more than one horse-and-buggy shuffling down the road in the wee hours of the morning. Too funny. Party on Amish!
January 2nd, 2008 la 11:34 am
those fireworks were so much cooler than the ones that exploded the pickle last year. Good job!